Of Climbing Upwards

Hah! I went rock-climbing today!

Very cool experience... was totally immersed in "the moment" of sheer focus when hanging on to dear life 15 meters off the ground. Intense indeed! I can understand why some people can get hooked on this sport. Will I take it up as a serious hobby? Probably not. Learned anything? Yes... definitely. Technically, use your legs to support your weight in ascending instead of upper body strength to haul yourself up. Correct techniques maintain stamina. Lesson related to life, when you're tired and unable to move an inch further, take a breather and then push beyond the threshold... it's just a little bit more to the top and it can be done!

In the Candy Store

After some prodding with the sharp end of a twig, I finally got my much awaited cheque. Totally forgot about tax and EPF... so a sizable chunk was gone even before it got into my hands. On the bright side, there was satisfaction that I stood up and pointedly asked for my money... and I got it! *glee*

Thank goodness assertiveness is the in thing and I didn't lose my job instead.

Pats self on the back.

Have been mentally on a shopping spree buying this and that and everything (there's no limit to imagination) since I started this job, but when the bonus actually came I find that I don't really know what to do with it. Oh, I've got plenty of ideas. Money is easy to spend I have had lots of practice. Am trying not to be too impulsive and blow it all in one shot I can do that without conscience no problem but. I tell myself I can only choose ONE splurge as a reward to self. Big girl already, must think rationally.

I want to buy a new toy.

But there are so many toys out there where do I even start?

Or shall I use the money to EAT!!!! Can't go wrong with food.

Savings? No. Not yet. The country needs my contribution to spur the economy.

Or maybe put it towards building my dream home? *huge shinny eyes*

Oh drat. Just remembered that I haven't paid back my student loan yet.

A little nest. Yeah.... I've been wanting a place of my own. Thinking back how this dream started on my wedding day, there is a sense of sadness of having to do this alone now since I am no longer half of a couple but one individual. No matter! *waves sadness away with dainty flick of a wrist* I shall have My Nest, with my own two hands I will put it together piece. by. piece. Dreams can still be realized, albeit somewhat modified!!!

Chinese New Year 2009

Lao yee shang

Big dinners... huge family gatherings. Again I am reminded how fortunate I am to be sitting at the table leisurely waiting for the dishes to be served, sipping hot cups of chrysanthemum tea and catching up with cousins who live in the city but generally see once (or twice) a year. It's good that public holidays are public holidays, and personal time is personal time, and that work need not always come first.

It's only Day One of CNY and already we've been stuffing ourselves like ... up to here *gestures to chin* and the living room weighing machine was the most popular contraption for every visitor who has come to call on us. Without fail, there will be squeals of disbelief that yes.. they have gained 2 kilograms over the weekend!

Was confused as to the custom of giving red packets for a person in my position. To give or not to give? To receive or not to receive?? Decided to give anyway in keeping with Chinese new year tradition and technically I am married. Will have to rectify that by next year.

Finally, A Break

Have been nursing two sore feet for the past few days due to poor foot wear. Well, they're my usual court shoes and I wear them to the office everyday, but never for half-day talks where I was the one standing and pacing around. Three-inch stilettos are strongly not recommended to give 200 powerpoint slide presentations in!! Never knew that calluses could form in so many places from toe to heel. Have resorted to shed my strict professional image due to this immense physical suffering and shuffled around the office in a pair of soft fuzzy bedroom slippers. Hush now... don't tell HR.

Tomorrow is CNY. Have not bought any new outfits this year. Hair is in a mess because I refuse to join the masses who flock to the hairdressers specifically for this season and perm and dye their hair stereotypically red. But I do have some new Swarovski crystal earrings which I have kept and but never found an excuse to year till now! Yeah... I think I'll take out my new bling and wear them for this new year.

Kutucat wishes all a Happy New Year and Gong Xi Fa Chai!!!

Is It Normal

... to get irritated over one own's paycheck? Money coming in should be a good thing right?



The crux of the problem is:



Why is my bonus not in yet?????!!!!



You PROMISED me already!!!





RRRROOOAAAAAARRRRR!!!!!

I Think They Got It

Ah. So this is what a business trip is like.

My high-heel shoes nearly killed me. Next time, I am going to wear slippers in the airport. And bring a trolley bag instead of a sling bag.

Oh! And duty-free shops are so much fun!!!

My Lecturer Used to Say...

If you don't get it, forget it.

That's what I am going to tell my audience come Tuesday when I give my presentation.

I just hope they appreciate the humour and invite me back.

Tenji Buffet

First visit: Ready to do justice to the endless supply of food


Goodness knows how long we waited for a table (2 hours actually).
The place was fully booked at 11.30am.


Shredded abalone with salmon roe


Scallops


I at the fish whole, head and bones.


I could only manage 4.

Yummy yummy yummy second helpings.

Our strategy: Main meal 1 hour. Dessert 1 hour.

Tiles on the bathroom wall. Just because they're pretty.

Men Who Do Housework

impress me a lot. I mean, a lot A LOT. The idea of a man holding a full-time job and yet coming home to help out with the laundry, sweeping and mopping, scrubbing the tiles... these are good men and hard to find! With wives holding career and earning an income to contribute to the household nowadays, domestic responsibilities should be shared just as equal partners share their hearth and home.

Some men do not comprehend the meaning of housework. The one I knew had to be called from slumber to eat lunch all cooked and set out on the table and left plates unwashed in the sink. The week's worth of clothes were brought to my place for washing. When I pointed out that he could have done his laundry himself, he whined "why wouldn't you help me?". All the while I was in med school it was like taking care of two people. Myself and an overgrown child. Looking back, I am amazed that I juggled the wards, the classroom and a marriage without the help of caffein and graduated well enough. Well, I can't say much for the marriage though.

Coffee. Can't get through the day without one now. The energy surge is great. Attention is better, tasks are completed faster. Maybe I should have drunk coffee back then.

Why There Will Never be Enough Doctors

I think it's a pity that many young doctors I know are leaving the hospital environment. I'm sad to hear that many are already under psychiatric follow-up and are walking around unhappily doing their job just trying to survive the day. I feel for them, because it is such a huge contrast that is just so inhumane and unreasonable compared to the private sector. And believe me when I say that so many of my peers, brilliant medical professionals whom I've known since medical school, are backed into a corner by the demands of long hours, chronic physical hardship and mental strain that they would choose to join the private sector as soon as they get their license to practice.

I think our government hospitals are doing a good job in terms of providing free and reasonable healthcare to every Tom, Dick and Harry who walks through the door. Fees collected from patients form less than 3% of the of the cost required to run a hospital with full tertiary facilities. What kind of business is that? And yet, state insurance is not the answer. I still believe that healthcare should be accessible to the poor.

There seems no way to this solution except increase the number of doctors. Already, we are importing doctors from Pakistan, Myanmar, Egypt etc. We have 10 medical schools in Malaysia itself, and several Malaysian graduates from Russia, Indonesia and the Philipines return to do their training here. Unfortunately, the influx of man power is less than the eflux of doctors out of the government hospitals. Most will go into private practice, while others will choose to go into administration, research, pharmaceutical, bio-informatics, health insurance and even non-medical related industries. Not for of the lack of passion for clinical medicine. Oh no, we love our patients and we love the knowledge we gain day by day. Seriously though... when it comes to sacrificing everything else for altruism,

there is a limit.

30.12.2008

Went for new year countdown at Solaris.

Blazing sword

Neon lights dancer


Firefly dance troop from Singapore.

Very hot.

Curtains

Am thinking of closing down this blog.
I just don't derive pleasure from writing anymore.
Don't take many photos nowadays, and even if I do I do not upload them.
I still wonder about Husband, but not the way I get worked up about as before. It's been over a year after all.
Sometimes, I still ponder about the meaning of marriage and relationships, what love is, what do I have, what do I not have. Hopes and fears I still carry with me.... lingering behind my mind in the flurry of work. Sleep... it is still elusive. I have given up even trying... it's easier just to knock off just like that.
I no longer have the luxury of time to reflect, hence the lack of answers. Hence the lack of entries.

Knots

I have to think of a way to shave Kutucat.

Because her hair is getting matted and tangled up into huge knots. Not just one or two now and then. It's clumps and clumps around her neck, her armpits, the tummy and backside. I think she is finding it hard to reach over and groom herself as thoroughly as before. She is getting old liao.

Her beautiful beautiful fur has to go. It's a pity but it's better for her that way. The thing is, she is adamant about us not interfering. Can snip away little bits while she is asleep.

The Company

The trouble with me is not knowing when to shut up and when to open my mouth.

This household has pretty much been run on under a dictatorship. When we were kids, no means no. Nil reasons given. It's because the elders said so, and thus the world obeyed. To argue would be disrespectful. Disobedience, full betrayal.

Cina-pek company also like that. The old-timers are conservative and play by the book. As if not wearing the company T-shirt on casual Friday will get me fired from my job. *bird* Our company is a "One Big Happy Family" kononnya. Wearing the same company shirt shows unity! We should look out for each other, have close relationships with our colleagues...yadda yadda yadda. Hello??? What is this, kindergarten?

I am here to earn a living, do my job, probably will step over you to get to the top one day.You smile at me coz you know what I do. I smile at you coz I know you know. HR screwed me. I have no loyalty to anyone, least of all The Company. Must work hard... for good of The Company. Must achieve target... for the good of The Company. Must cut costs.... for the good of The Company. Ha ha ha. It's like Chinese communist slogan lar.

While the masses are driving the operations line... The Big Fat Cat sitting on top of the pyramid is laughing all the way to the bank.

Resolution Checklist

I found my old list of resolutions for 2007 dated 30thDec 2006.

First on the list was to be financially independent. - Checked

Second was to determine whether to follow the clinical or corporate pathway. - Checked. Mind made up.

Third was improve marriage, learn to live together. - pfft.

And then there was this strange ambition to learn French and visit France. - Not done. No desire to do so for the good part of last year either. Most probably got distracted from all the drama in my personal life.

Next was to exercise more - Checked.... but have lax ever since started office work and have acquired squishy love-handles already.

Last was to consider migration, because husband wanted to. - Nope. Not doing that because I love KL. Am building a life here and am contented. He can go wherever he wants to with a free conscience now.

I believe the power of making a list. It maps out your priorities, provides a reminder to progress as planned and at the end of the year reflect on the achievements (or lack there of) of each resolution.

I am glad 2008 is over and done with and things can start afresh for 2009.

My resolution for this year is:
1. Take up more responsibility and establish worth in company. Be indispensable.
2. Learn how to write a business proposal.
3. Restart exercise regime (but first must buy decent sports shoes)
4. Take one self-advancement exam.
5. Make a shopping trip to Bangkok with new DSLR.

There... should be enough to keep me occupied for the whole of 2009.

Kutucat Made These :)

After spending RM100 for 2 dozen cupcakes during my latest craze last month, I decided to bake my own. Am not sure whether it is more economical to do so, but I did have a wonderful time. More of the process of creating the finishing product from the basic ingredients than eating them (I only had one by the way).

Fresh from the oven but a bit overdone.

Chocolate rice with vanilla icing.

So pretty... Felt so iddle and happy picking out pink and purple hearts from the pile of random colors.

My first batch of cupcakes. Much too sweet... will reduce sugar from recipe the second time round. And experiment with blue dye.

It's amazing that I actually have time to dabble in artsy stuff. It's always been study study study during holidays and weekends for the past 9 years. Gosh... I can't believe I am saying this. But

I love my job!

No regrets not doing housemanship.

Purulent! discharge

Came across a case of chronic periodonitis - a progressive inflammation of the gums gradually destroying the soft tissue and underlying bone resulting in your tooth falling off. Serious.

It's like gingivitis but one step higher... where the cause is essentially the build-up of dental plaque along receeding gums with bacterial infection. Predisposing factors include poor oral hygiene, smoking, diabetes, hereditary factors, lowered immune system and as a result of certain medications which reduces protective salivatory secretion.

So this report was describing the fate one such tooth ... "there is swelling of the gums with pussy discharge".

Eh? Come again?

Meow?

Say purulent lar.