I won't trade my mind for mediocrity

Every once in a while, you feel like the universe is trying to teach you a lesson, and it will do so again and again until you get it.

Kids, today's alphabet is A, for Acceptance.

Of Self, specifically.

I thought I needed to be "fixed" because I was damaged in some way. I didn't like that part in me.
A divorce was a good reason to become unhinged. It eventually went away, just like it was expected to.
Then out of the blue, it was back. Only this time, there wasn't a good enough excuse to hide behind and blame.
I went into denial. Told myself NO! YOU WILL NOT GO THERE AGAIN! NOT after clawing your way out of that BLACK HOLE! Bloodied hands! Flesh torn to the bones! You made it out you CANNOT go back!

Anger and punishment followed. Stop it! Stop it! Each blow fell harder than the one before. Remorse came. Then shame. And finally, quiet insight.

I am who I am. I am unique. My brilliance and my darkness, they are one and the same.

Girl, you've been told a hundred thousand times by random strangers and close friends but you've never believed it. Now, I am telling you this myself:

You are amazing just the way you are
.... for you were wonderfully and fearfully made. His works are beautiful. I know that now.

Psalm 139:14.